Captain Blimey

The Captain Blimey is a unique and powerful expression of Lonely Fun.

There are rifts in the time-space continuum that are only evinced by time slips. Three people may be sitting in their college dorm when one of them thinks it might be a good idea to find more creative metaphors for gastro-intestinal issues*. This triggers a conversation between three boys - weighing the merits and scope of such an endeavor - and right after they conclude that 10 metaphors sufficiently covers the need, they look up, have become men and are being asked to leave because they graduated last week.

*before any suggest that this is just gross, consider that loved ones often direct awkward questions your way when you return from an extended trip to take care of yourself. “Are you okay?” If this has never happened to you, then no one loves you (don’t worry you are still in the right place here), but when it does, isn’t it more polite to confirm that you “had to climb Mount Kilamanjaro” than ignore the question or actually talk about the poops? Yes. And you’re welcome.

The power of Captain Blimey, like the Force, is all around us. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. A Captain Blimey might be found in:

1. a secret language invented when trying to fall asleep and successfully ensuring your virtue will remain… well, remain.
2. a self help book on dating written by people who are mostly explaining why they can’t get dates
3. the TV show “30 Something”
4. Daniel Snyder

I just noticed that the website Lifehack says Gaming and Movies are in the top 10 time wasting activities that will ruin your life. So if you want a counter argument to the life lessons I’m laying down, go take those classes over there and come back to tell me how happy you are.

I won’t be here. Like a little bee, I’m taking this Blimey wherever the Captain sails. Not sure where that will be*, but it won’t wait for you.

*see, you’re curious….