Future Blimeys

I am building a list of Captain Blimeys that would qualify as self-improvement/solid career choices for others. However, because my end goal is not to be awesome but a big goof, these would only qualify as non-productive time slips. Blimeys. If at the end of all things I actually have a novel 3d RPG scored by serene guitar fingerpicking, no one will be more surprised than me.

1. Rebuild the Callus

What could be better than making good use of my time to actually get halfway good at one of my top 10 favorite things of all time? * after silver white winters that melt into spring Sure there is another page here dedicated to the best worst band, and still another non-public where I’m trying to MongoDB some shit about our greatest hits, but this Future Blimey is about honing the craft. It takes werk. 50 Points to Hufflepuff.

2. ZBrush

I didn’t do this. This is James Wong who I found through a random google. No relation. But if you like his stuff, then more here! Tell him the scarlet baconator sent you. He’ll have no clue but what a good waste of 2 hours for futile internet searching.

3D digital scultping has always intrigued me since the games I play started using them. I’m sure it’s more an extension of “knowing what I CAN’T do,” which is why I never bought the Wacom Cintiq to pretend I could draw well. See, I don’t know I can’t 3D Model well, so in my head it’s a lot of fun. Plus I sing Right Said Fred to myself the whole time.

3. Lay on the Hurt

I tried to add this without laughing. Oh, muscle tone. We will never get back together.

4. Back to the Shire

A return to the roots! Oh, for the days when my dad run “Music Printer Plus” on the IBM Clone PC in our basement. I wrote several things on there that I gave away in awkward attempts to woo the lady. A couple were actually good. And I’ll never have that recipe again.

My current PC has the beefy version of that childhood seductress. Sibelius. Fun. I even bough East West symphonic voices. To date, I’ve used four of them to write a string quartet for my wedding reception. It was a bit of a train wreck live because I (a) wanted to avoid cliché harmonics and (b) decided to merge themes from Flash Gorgon, Thorn Birds, Highlander, Ingrid Michelson, and Star Wars. Oh, and Superman.

It’s still great in my head. And the PC musicians nail it every time.

5. Because I Lied - After Effects

Because I still like to draw. And I like Photoshop, and Pro Create on the iPad. And that’s likely the only real Blimey on this list. BUT, in this brave new world where all things are possible and I engineer the time slip just so, I can stretch that into AfterEffects and do some clever animations. Besides, thanks to my sister-in-law’s mojo, I now know a guy….

6. Adventure Construction Extreme - Unreal Engine

This would be the Olympus of a Blimey. I will combine all of the above into an amazing 3D RPG that involves walking down a street with everything on fire and the fake symphonic strings swell meaningfully and in the distance you see another (expertly rendered) shape - the Princess! - but you can’t have her because it’s better that way and we fade out and the very brief credits are accompanied by mellow fingerpicking. The end.